I find myself wondering if/when my house will feel like home…if ever. I am fine living there, and at times, I appreciate certain aspects of it, but I don’t love it or even like it sometimes, it doesn’t feel like me, and it certainly doesn’t feel like home yet. It remains feeling more like camping, or being a guest in someone else’s house, a house that doesn’t reflect yourself very well, a very transitory existence. I am hoping that that will change with time, because I certainly want to feel settled here, instead of a little uncomfortable for two years. But maybe that’s good for me as well and will teach me new lessons.
At least the majority of time, I don’t want to leave it, and on the days when I do want to leave, it’s never Cameroon, or the north…just my house and village.
I asked some other volunteers when it will feel like home, and they said it will eventually, and you know when you go away for a few weeks and come back and think “Oh it’s good to be home.” As I stay there longer, and have more furniture and the kitchen becomes more stocked, I’m sure it will feel better, but for now, I’m not quite there yet…
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